I made the mistake of looking up my own name on Wikipedia.

The murder occurred on my partner’s birthday, which gave her the shivers.

All Tileys are ultimately related, according to recent genealogical theory. For four centuries the family pottered around in Gloucestershire, until the invention of the square-rigged sailing ship allowed them to annoy people all over the world.

Looking for a picture of a Tiley grave, I kept finding bits of Barista, but I was enchanted by this random sentence:

“Tiley told the Times of London on October 29, (2005) ‘Once we have regulatory approval, we believe it will only take between four and five years to breed enough chickens to replace the entire world (chicken) population.”"

That is 35 billion chooks. Since no-one has been round any coops that I know of offering new fowls and taking the existing birds away in sinister black vans, I presume something has gone wrong with his plan to breed bird flu resistance into our feathered friends.

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