alive/dead public/private moving/weird
“A mother at 13, diagnosed with cancer at 14 and dead by 16, Beckie Williamson was no average teenager. The extraordinary youngster filmed her last year as a legacy for her daughter.”
So the Beeb describes a recent documentary, To Courtney, with Love, from Mosaic Films.
I am amazed by the para on her death:
“When Beckie died in late September 2004, Mark was invited to join the family for the last 18 hours of her life. Much of the time was spent watching her on video. As Vicky says in the film: “That’s our Beckie on the video, that’s not Beckie upstairs.”"
So, she was dying, and her family moved around, back and forth from her bed as her body gave up its functions one by one, gripped by the cancer which must have made her into a wreck of her former self.
And the family is going downstairs to watch tapes of her when she was well.
That. is. deeply. strange. And a sign of the times.
The whole article is an interesting case study, under the fold:
“A mother at 13, diagnosed with cancer at 14 and dead by 16, Beckie Williamson was no average teenager. The extraordinary youngster filmed her last year as a legacy for her daughter.
In many ways, Beckie Williamson was a typical 13-year-old girl.
She liked clothes and spent forever doing her make-up before going out with her older sister. She smoked too much and drank more than was good at her age.
But Beckie also had to face a lifetime of challenges in just a few years and she did it with maturity and compassion, which belied her age.
When she was 12, Beckie got into a serious relationship with a boy just a year older than she was. It was not long before she found out she was pregnant, something she hid from her family for seven months.
When she was 13, she gave birth to a little girl who she called Courtney. By the time she was 14, Beckie was diagnosed with bone cancer. Despite intensive treatment, her cancer spread. By 15, she was told her sarcoma was terminal and she died just a few weeks after her 16th birthday.
Burglary
Beckie’s biggest regret in life was that her daughter would grow up never knowing who she was. She said she was not scared of dying but of leaving people behind, like her daughter. It was this which drove her to make a legacy video for Courtney.
She started filming using the family’s video camera, but when it was stolen in a burglary she couldn’t replace it. At the time director Mark Wilkinson was working with the teenage cancer unit at St James’s Hospital in Leeds, where Beckie was being treated. He heard about the theft and offered to lend her his spare camera.
After seeing the powerful footage Beckie and her family were filming, and realising what an extraordinary young woman she was, he suggested they make a documentary. He worked closely with Beckie and her family for almost a year, following the ups and downs of coping with her inevitable decline.
Vicky says filming was hard at times
After a few weeks, Beckie felt that she could no longer cope with the filming and her older sister Vicky took over. Her video diaries gave an extraordinary insight into the pain she was experiencing watching the deterioration in her sister’s health.
Filmed sitting on a beach in Bridlington one evening with her camera, she asks: “If there is a God up there, if you are up there, just please help us. You always seem to take the good people away and leave the bad people here. There’s all these rapists and murderers about. There’s no justice.”
The diaries also show how the sisters faced the inevitability of Beckie’s death, through humour – sometimes very dark humour – love and support.
The filming became a valuable distraction from the tension that built up within the family. They often picked up a camera and talked to it as if it was a close friend, resulting in an exceptionally intimate portrait of a family in emotional turmoil.
When Beckie died in late September 2004, Mark was invited to join the family for the last 18 hours of her life. Much of the time was spent watching her on video. As Vicky says in the film: “That’s our Beckie on the video, that’s not Beckie upstairs.”"
May 30th, 2005 at 5:41 am
i found this programme very very upsetting and my heart goes out to beckys family, i hope courteny grows up to now her mam really really well.my heart goes out to all the family. i hope if courteny ever wants to meat her dad that he will take part in her life as she only has a dad left. i also think becky dealt with her cancer really really well, she was a really really brave girl.
R.I.P pet
May 30th, 2005 at 11:50 am
Thanks Kirsty.
The wonders of the internet – I have read the stories about the show but I haven’t seen it, while you have.
June 2nd, 2005 at 1:18 am
I saw the program and i found it so so upsetting and moving, i feel as if it hasnt really happened and so therefore cant imagine how the family must be feeling right now, she was so brave, if it was me at 16 i wouldnt have been able to cope
r.i.p
xxx
June 9th, 2005 at 6:12 pm
Beckz was my cus and is still very loved and i thank u for ur concern
June 26th, 2005 at 9:59 pm
Hi there i downloaded the programme from a site it was very sad can i just ask bobbie is it ok 2 add ya 2 messenger so we can chat
April 30th, 2006 at 11:49 am
I found this program very upsetting and moving..
I just saw it, 5 hours ago.. And I’m still crying…
I think its awfull..!
I’m only 16 myself, and I cant really imagine what Beckie and her family was going through..
I really hope that Courtney will grow up to a really nice girl, with all the knowledge possible about her mum..
Beckie was a brave and beautiful girl..
R.I.P
April 30th, 2006 at 11:35 pm
I saw this documentary last night.. I got so upset seeing it, I really cant imagine how it must have been for beckie and her family.. I feel so sorry for her. That this happen to people.. I have no words. last night, when I watched it, I cried. A lot.
May 1st, 2006 at 2:53 am
Poor girl. I wish she did’nt have to die.
May 4th, 2006 at 6:35 am
I feel so sorry for her family!
I really want to know more about her. So, if somebody have more information about her, please mail it to me!
agnes-johansen@hotmail.com
May 6th, 2006 at 11:58 pm
I….still cry!! this is so sad and heartbreaking that…i can’t imagine. does anybody knows a site where i can watch the movie again couse i just saw the halv here in norway…..i cry all the time and even when i have fun i think about poor and VERY breave Becky!!! i even cry now…….! even if i dont know her and only have seen her on tv i still wish it was me…..becouse she had a kid and she was soooo beautiful!! i think she deservs more than she got!! i’m am just 11 years old but still i’m crying…. it’s so awful thinking about how her family feels that known her and born her when i cry every day when i’m just seen her at the televizion!!! she was so beautiful and i really wish it was me. and if someone are her family og knows a site about her please write it here so i can look at the video they made one more time…and cry more……thanks
January 12th, 2007 at 8:03 am
no words … she was just a child … rest in peace
March 3rd, 2007 at 3:03 am
Etter at jeg så To Courtney, with love i Norge (Norway) har jeg tenkt på hvor tøfft livet til Beckie var. Å stakkars Courtney som må våkse opp uten mor og far. Jeg har grått menge tårer etter at jeg så dokementaren.
Jeg har dårlig samvittighet fordi jeg føler at det er noe jeg kunne ha gjort, men det er jo ikke det.
Jeg er så lei meg og trist…….
March 16th, 2007 at 10:57 am
i knew becky just a bit i used to speak to her now and again wen i saw her about im reali good mates wiv her cousin chaz and if u ever c this chaz my heart goes out to all her friends and family i cant imagine how they are feelin i couldnt stop cryin wen i saw her documentary she didnt deserve to go she was such an intelligent beautiful girl wiv so much ahead of her i jushope courtney as a good life and turns out as beautiful and intelligent as her mum was R.I.P beckiex
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
March 21st, 2007 at 10:53 pm
i watchedthe documentary and i cryed my eyes out for days she had such an amazing family and such a gorgeous little girl, bad things always happend to great people!! she was such a stunning girl i hope shes resting in peace. if anyone knows where i can download or watch this documentary again please email me or add me on addicted_dancer60@hotmail.com or leave me a comment on AngelPreminition.bebo.com thankx R.I.P becky x x x x
April 12th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
hi i saw the programme ages ago but it only feels right to leave a comment about beckie i think she is a great example of how to live your live by enjoying every day as it comes and i hope that her daughter grows up knowing how much her mum loved her will i’m sure she will R.I.P Beckie
June 12th, 2007 at 10:14 am
I am short of word..seeing young people suffering and watching their life in the last part…it makes impression. Seeing a young girl and sweet little kid, her sister and family being in such a situation is darn hard.
Many of us have had ups and downs in life. Justice is just a word..its a pity.
As I said, short of words – hope every day of my life is making it a better world for someone else.
Hope there is a heaven, have a smashing time Beckie..
June 12th, 2007 at 10:55 am
I have no words that can describe the pain i feel after having watched this documentary… Beckie is one of the strongest persons I think I have ever seen, I admire this extremely special girl who did not deserve this at all… Cortney is the most adorable little girl and she must be proud of her mom as she was so brave…
Beckie was born the same year as me which means she would have been the same age as me this year, it is realy heartbreaking to see that something like this can happen to people my age and younger. I think we see ourselves as invinsible and I just realised we’re not.
My heart and thoughts go out to Beckies family, it is impssible to get over the loss of someone so great…
Rest in peace Beckie and may your soul and memory live on…
July 24th, 2007 at 4:08 am
Rebecca Tracey Adrianna Williamson
19 Tomorrow Babe
Ye i wish you could be here
But i guess all this happened for a reason yeh?
Im Becky’s Cousin and i just wna thank you all for your comments
it really does mean alot to me and our family
Courtneys doing fine and she turned 5 not long ago
Happy birthday becky babe
R.I.P darlin we love and miss you loads
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxo.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:33 am
God ide det går nok bra alt sammen:) fin side
October 28th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Descanse en paz. Muy bonito documental.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:07 am
No words after the video very strong girl very strong family.
R.I.P
Descanse en paz.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:14 am
a relative died recently by cancer and as that family feels, I animate and to remember that becky follows in your hearts
October 28th, 2007 at 11:24 am
Hello I feel much what I spend with becky, my father murio in January of cancer of stomach that I go on to him to the lungs, have seen becky’s video in Spanish television and have got excited very much for the form in which becky I confront his situation, from here a very big embrace and the whole support and thanks for doing a video in spite of such hard moments, because this video can help to muchisimas persons and to arouse the people in whom the cancer is a problem every time major, I encourage to the whole family, and an embrace for vicky and thousand kisses for courtney, pardon for the grammar but it is a translation
December 14th, 2007 at 10:17 am
love ya becks xxxxxxxxxxxx
April 8th, 2008 at 9:36 am
To courtney with love can be ordered from mosiac films just google it they produced the film in 2005.
I must agree very moving and the best documentry ive seen and is up there with johnny kennedy the boy whos skin fell off 2 of the very best.
Courtney will probably be able to understand the video now she was a little young at the time and it would be nice for an update from the family on how courtneys doing.
Becky was so brave and was an inspiration and what a wonderfull gift to give her daughter the filming was only set out for courtney and it was by sheer luck that it managed to be put together into a documentry.
Bye becks R.i.p still thinking off you in 2008
May 13th, 2008 at 4:40 am
i watched it years n years ago and i still cry about it xx i hope the family is ok because i know how it feel to lose some one so close xx
November 9th, 2008 at 12:58 am
Åh, jeg så dokumentaren for lidt tid siden. Stakkels Courtney, som skal vokse op uden hendes mor. Og stakkels hendes søster, far og mor og alle de andre der kendte hende. Føler virkelig med jer! Hun var en meget stærk person.
November 9th, 2008 at 2:32 am
Just saw the documentary today on Danish television, and I must say it was one of THE toughing yet inspiring things I’ve seen. I’m a 29 year old man, yet I sat there with tears in my eyes, which I can’t renenber a documentary have ever done to me before.
RIP Beckie
November 16th, 2008 at 10:56 am
Acabo de ver el documental en la televisión Española, perdí a mi padre cuando tenía 6 años (ahora tengo 33) de cancer y como a Courtney me llevaron a casa de un familiar para no ver como se iba..
Es imposible reducir a un comentario todas las emociones que sientes al ver este documental..
Adios Beckie
November 16th, 2008 at 11:31 am
i dont know what to say.Just cry a lot and to think that in the world there are much more people VALIENTE that I thought.God maybe its true that you take sooner the best people.Adios beckie hasta pronto
November 16th, 2008 at 11:35 am
i dont know what to say.Just cry a lot and to think that in the world there are much more people VALIENTE that I thought.God maybe its true that you take sooner the best people.Adios beckie hasta pronto.
marta
November 17th, 2008 at 5:00 am
I saw the docummentary on Spanish TV yesterday as well, and I still feel shocked and impressed. I am deeply sorry for Beckie, Courtney and all the family. I just want to give my support. I wish I could do something. You are in my heart. I hope Courtney will do well throughout her life.
Un beso muy fuerte.
Mari Paz xx
February 21st, 2009 at 4:17 am
I remember watching this when it was first aired on BBC I have to say it is something which will stay with me forever. Beckie was inspirational and my heart goes out to the family and their loss. I hope Courtney is well and I am sure her mum will be evr so proud x
God Bless x
If anyone knows whether the documentary can still be seen I would like to re watch it ?
March 22nd, 2009 at 3:39 am
I’m from spain, and watched this a few months ago…it was such a moving, and beautiful to watch…I remember I cried a lot, and I remember what I felt…Beckie was really strong…and I’m proud of her, even that I never knew her…hope Courtney knows she had a mother that really loved her.
GoodBye Beckie!
I’m asking like everyone here, I really want to buy, download or rewatch this..so if anybody knows..please let us know!
May 23rd, 2009 at 1:49 am
Hi iam from New Zealand and all you can say is sorry for your lost i watched a few night ago a nearly brought me to tears. Courtney didnot deserve this
R.I.P Beckie
From Simon Armitage
August 13th, 2009 at 2:06 am
I watched the documentary on TV here in South Africa on Saturday. I am a 49 year old man and I cried when I saw this. Beckie you inspire me. I have been through what I thought was a difficult time in my life but when I saw how brave you were I realise that every day I waste so much time and so many special moments. Even though you are no longer here your story will touch many souls and change many lives for ever. When I have doubts and feel fear I will think of you.